In the age of gadgets, fast-paced careers, and social media, we seem to be silently
failing our children. Family, once the cornerstone of a child’s upbringing, is slowly fading into the background, replaced by screens, societal pressures, and fragmented connections. This isn’t just a passing observation; it’s a crisis that threatens the fabric of relationships, marriages, and the emotional well-being of the next generation. Kids are being deprived of the concept of family far too early in their lives, and the ripple effects are showing up in every facet of adulthood.
Most teenagers today turn to gadgets and social media to craft their identity, often consuming content that tells them they are misunderstood introverts, misunderstood by their parents and society. Depression is marketed as almost glamorous, and introversion becomes a badge of honor, even when it might not truly reflect their nature. Before they’ve even figured out who they are, they are packed off to boarding schools as early as 8 or 9 years old, and from there, the spiral continues further distancing from the core values of family and community.
We are a generation of working mothers and workaholic or absent fathers, too busy in the name of providing “the best life” for our children. But what is this “best life”? Designer shoes? Expensive gadgets? Lavish vacations? The truth is, until a certain age, kids don’t care about the brand of clothes they wear or whether their shoes are the latest in fashion. They care about attention, presence, and the sense of belonging that only family can provide. A child can thrive in thrifted clothes and budget toys as long as they have the warmth of family interaction. Yet, many children today are learning to find connection elsewhere, because “mommy is busy, and daddy is barely around.”
Our homes are becoming fortresses, often devoid of the things that spark joy and teach life’s valuable lessons. Pets, once a staple in many households, are a rarity. Children don’t grow up in playful environments anymore; they grow up watching mind-numbing shows like Cocomelon and other digital babysitters. With cities becoming increasingly dangerous, kids are locked indoors, isolated from each other and from nature. The roughness of city life has made human interaction a distant skill either they grow paranoid of the world or become too locked into the digital realm to develop essential social skills.
And then there’s the issue of constant change and detachment. Children raised by nannies see caregivers come and go with alarming regularity. Every three to six months, it’s a new face, a new person to bond with, and another goodbye when they leave. Over time, they build walls around themselves, emotionally guarding against these transient connections. They learn early on not to attach to anyone for too long. This is how the art of one-night stands and transient relationships begins to manifest, long before they are ready for real relationships. If everyone who cares for you disappears in a matter of months, why invest emotionally? Why attach yourself?
By the time they are in their twenties, you meet this man or woman and wonder why they don’t know how to build a stable relationship. But how could they? They’ve been conditioned by their environment and upbringing to disconnect before things get too real. These men are looking for guidance from influencers like Andrew Tate, and women have modeled themselves after scripted personalities from television. Instead of genuine self-reflection and self-awareness, they are drawn to shallow ideologies and performative lifestyles. Their concept of family and love is shaped by a world that is scripted, edited, and designed for public consumption.
How do we expect them to understand what real love looks like when their reference point is Instagram highlights and TikTok relationship trends? Of course, they don’t know what forgiveness looks like. Of course, they will leave you for something trivial like putting the toilet paper the wrong way. Of course, their love language is unrealistic expectations that no real person can meet consistently. And of course, they are miserable. Depression has been normalized and even glorified as inevitable. Now, I’m not dismissing mental health struggles; I’ve had my own share of challenges. But living your entire life in your head, detached from reality, only deepens the cracks in your soul.
What we have failed to understand is that building strong families takes patience, compromise, and most importantly, presence. How can a child who has been raised with house help, gadgets, and absentee parents know how to navigate the emotional terrain of a family? When life with family means cereal bowls in the sink, loud mornings, moody days, and imperfect routines, they balk at the messiness of it all. They don’t realize that true love is accepting the imperfections in others. You realize that with people, it boils down to the basics. The details don’t really matter. Love, in its truest form, covers a multitude of sins.
This is where the concept of family shines the brightest. Children need a community. They need the wisdom of uncles and aunties, the camaraderie of cousins, and the inevitable conflicts that come with it. These conflicts teach them how to resolve differences, how to compromise, and most importantly, how to forgive. They should fight over toys, get angry, and learn the value of reconciliation. They should be tasked with washing dishes they didn’t dirty, learning responsibility and accountability along the way.
Children should grow up with the experience of getting dirty outdoors, playing until their clothes are a mess, and then cleaning up afterwards.
These experiences ground them in reality.
They learn that human beings are not perfect, and neither are their circumstances. They learn that you can always replace a broken toy, but never a broken family connection. These lessons of forgiveness, responsibility, and love can never be taught through gadgets or social media.
The present is a wonderful place to be, but children will only realize that if they are grounded in family and love. They must be taught to live in the real world, surrounded by those who love them unconditionally. Only then can they grow into balanced, emotionally healthy adults, capable of real love and true relationships.
By rediscovering the importance of community and family, we give our children the tools to thrive, not just in their careers, but in life. And maybe, just maybe, the future generation won’t have to repair the damage we’ve done by being too distracted to notice the little hearts breaking right in front of us.
Stephanie Sewuese Shaakaa
University of Agriculture,Makurdi, Benue state.
shaakaastephanie@yahoo.com.
The post The Silent Crisis in Modern Parenting: Are We Failing Our Children? appeared first on Vanguard News.
