« Looking for a goddess to drain this weak little paypig #humanATM, » Jake* tweets out, in the hope of finding a findom to empty his bank account.
The 29-year-old from Liverpool, UK, makes just £28,000 ($31,467) a year in his retail job but spends over £400 ($450) a month on being financially dominated — but with the mounting cost of living crisis, he’s unsure how long he can continue affording his fetish.
Financial domination, like any other form of submissive/dominant relationship, is power-based. Unlike other forms of sex work, though, there’s almost never any physical nudity. Sending money is the basis of the kink and paypigs (the submissives in this dynamic) are all too willing to have their bank accounts « drained » by financial dominatrixes (findommes) in return for humiliation.
« I have loyal paypigs and sometimes I find new ones on Twitter — I’ll advertise myself as well, but if I see someone wanting someone to dominate them I’ll DM slide and demand their money, all while telling them how disgusting they are, » explains 24-year-old findom Katie*.
Scrolling through Twitter hashtag searches for #paypig and #findom, you’ll find a seemingly endless stream of submissives ready to financially serve dommes in exchange for being degraded — but this could all be about to change.
Amid the cost of living crisis in the UK, an annual bill for a typical household will sit at £2,500 ($2,822) from October, twice what people were paying in winter 2021 — as a result, paypigs are having to think about how they will continue their subbing.
« I get a hit off of knowing I’m out of control, » explains Jake, « but with the way my bills are going up at the moment, there’s only so much out of control I can get. I’ll ask a domme to speak to me like shit and when she demands my money I usually give up to £50 ($56) at a time, these days that’s dwindling to £20 ($22.50). »
« From a sub point of view, we’re going to have to really budget what we send to dommes. »
For 30-year-old Twitter user « Beta Boy Sub, » his life outside of being a financial sub is going to have to change in order to accommodate his fetish. Despite working as an account manager in Newcastle and making £30K ($33.8K) a year, he’s willing to make sacrifices in his personal life to have more money available to hand over each month to financial dominatrixes.
« I’m really concerned about the cost of living crisis, as my disposable income is becoming less and less every month as prices go up. From a sub point of view, we’re going to have to really budget what we send to dommes, » said Beta Boy Sub.
He continued, « There will be other areas of my personal life that will have to be put aside in order to maintain my sub role, the way I look at it is if I remove one night out a month this can save around £100 that I can spend on dommes instead. »
For other paypigs, budgeting how much they spend on their dommes won’t be on the agenda, no matter how high bills go up.
Twitter user « Leith Walk On Me » is 41 and works in finance and spends an eye-watering £500 ($563) a month on being financially dominated.
« It’s a total misconception that paypigs are generally well off or rich, but they’re usually just guys like me on a fixed salary. As prices soar, it’s just a question of what standard of living subs are willing to sacrifice in order to keep paying their dommes, » he explains.
« I pay my bills, I don’t go into debt but I don’t take holidays or spend money on the latest technology. I will probably spend less as inflation bites but I’m not going to stop – I’ll just have to wait longer in between serious wallet rinsing and give up sending £20 ($22.50) and £30 ($33.84) to dommes here and there. »
« Bill prices are going to affect the findom scene in the coming months, and in some instances it already is. »
« Serious wallet rinsing, » he explains, can involve meeting up with findoms for a coffee and subtly sliding them a wad of cash, or meeting them at a cash point and allowing them to empty their bank account.
« Obviously it’s always good to pay more, but honestly whatever I earn I’ll give away what I can. I try to go within my means but sometimes I’ll go over and go into an overdraft or use a credit card or whatever — and when that happens I just have to go longer until I have enough money to pay again. »
« It just means living frugally until I can afford not to, I make sure all my big essentials are sorted out as soon as I get paid and then if I have to spend a couple of weeks eating rice and beans, then so be it. »
For the Edinburgh-based sub, it’s all worth the hit that he gets from giving away the cash.
On the flip side of this money-driven dynamic, are findoms feeling the heat as some of their loyal subs attempt to budget?
Findomme GJ from Cornwall is 21-years-old and has already seen a difference in how willing her subs are to hand over large volumes of money to her.
« I definitely believe that bill prices are going to affect the findom scene in the coming months, and in some instances it already is. Most of the time subs can be reluctant to send massive amounts anyway but I feel that there is now more talk of ‘budgets’ and the like when in a session whereas before they went with what I wanted.
« Now, with some, not all, I feel like there’s an element of pretending as we set a budget prior and then have a session. I’d rather do this and keep subs and myself happy then lose subs and miss out myself and let other dommes take their money. »
For others, such as Mistress Karina, it’s all about getting more creative. « I’m not overly concerned about the security of my business – there has been a drop in new British financial subs approaching me, which I am attributing to the current cost of living crisis, however my regular boys are still continuing to pay me, » she explains.
Due to some UK clients having smaller budgets, Mistress Katrina aims to market to more U.S. and Middle Eastern clients. If she were to solely focus on UK clients, she’d see a drop in income. « The ongoing crisis has encouraged me to think outside the box, » she said, « and how best to leverage my position in the current client. »
What both dommes can agree on however is the « inevitable » influx of dommes to the scene and a decrease in submissives as the cost of living soars, as more people turn to financial domination as a means of « easy money. » « I feel like the meaning of findom will dissipate somewhat at this time,” explains GJ.
« The ongoing crisis has encouraged me to think outside the box. »
« Rather than actually domination and interactions with subs it’ll become a money grabbing scene with new dommes with less morality and commitment, » GJ went on. « It’s sad because it’s almost like the cause is being diluted by some that don’t completely understand – and selfishly, the more dommes there are means potentially less success for all dommes due to the growing demand. »
Inexperienced dommes aren’t just a threat to findommes who’ve been on the scene for some time. Those in it for quick, easy money can also cause problems for the very people they’re looking to take it from.
« It sounds strange as the whole findom scene is about sending money but dommes who demand money instantly without any kind of small talk are ones that I don’t feel are genuine, » says Beta Boy Sub. « Dommes that are constantly hassling you for money in your Twitter DMs after you like one of their tweets is not a good sign as it makes you think how many other subs they’ve messaged. I like to think a genuine domme is one that has a little bit more respect for a sub than that and understands that subs are real people too. »
For loyal paypig « Leith Walk on Me, » there’s an overwhelming amount of dommes looking to ‘money-grab’: « Probably 80 percent of findommes are 100 percent money focused and are only interested in exploiting you as hard as they can right now, the other 20 percent are more complex — there may be some emotional attachment, they may be interested in other aspects — managing his finances, etc. »
Newer, inexperienced dommes, who’ve arrived on the scene to make additional income as the cost of energy, fuel, food and more rises in the UK, could be at risk of pushing submissives into debt – but who does that responsibility of care actually lie with?
« I think unless you’re completely mindless about what’s happening in the UK right now, all of us [dommes] feel bad or guilty, » GJ tells Mashable.
« My subconscious wouldn’t rest knowing I’ve ruined someone’s mental health due to finances during a crisis. »
« My subconscious wouldn’t rest knowing I’ve ruined someone’s mental health due to finances during a crisis. I’d be more harsh if fuel and bills weren’t so extortionate, but I understand that outside of findom, people have lives and families to care for. »
Ultimately, however, the choice to be involved in the kink is mutual, says GJ, and there’s only so much blame that can be put on the dommes in the situation. She explains that she personally sets budgets with her clients and is happy to discuss « reasonable » payments i.e. deposits of money that are worth her time.
« There’s a devil and angel on my shoulder, » she says, « is it their fault for putting themselves in that position or is it mine for allowing it to happen? »
Sub Jake says that the best way to keep things safe for everyone involved is to have formal conversations before diving straight into domination. « I have dommes who have spreadsheets filled with their clients’ budgets and will never push past what they can afford — it’s a format I think others should follow, that way subs are kept safe from debt and dommes are safe from vilification — we’re all adults with lives outside the kink. »
Regardless of who in the dynamic should be held accountable for financial difficulty in the world of findomming as the UK’s cost of living crisis shows no signs of slowing, it’s clear that for many where there is a will, there’s certainly a way.
*Names have been changed and online usernames used instead to protect sources’ privacy.
